Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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