Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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