I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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