there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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