If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
