Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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