i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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