omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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