State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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