This is not my ceiling
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize