I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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