i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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