College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
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I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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