4 words: hood of his car
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
