She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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