therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
