I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
