sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
