out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
