So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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