Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
