Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
