I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
