i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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