brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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