My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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