nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
