Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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