If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
