he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
