I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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