U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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