we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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