is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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