is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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