You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
