Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
