I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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