Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
