OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
