once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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