You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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