Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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