Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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