I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hippo gnu deer
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
