just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
