At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
