Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize