I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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