Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
