where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
