who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
