So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
