I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
