This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
