Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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