her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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