and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We have started to decorate penises.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
